The aiweenee-mimi mayhem Early Christmas! :)

Snowmen... Always remind me how cold the season should be. But the freakin' hot Saturday afternoon almost melted our Krispy Kreme(TM) snowmen for the supposedly afternoon delight, but became a near dinner dessert after the spiritually fulfilling activities we had. :)

Saturday is the day I always looked forward to eversince I felt home at Tanglaw. Going there always made me feel that there's always more to life than seeing the flaws of what the world bring: hatred, frustrations, and disappointments.

When I was about to take the train going to Quezon Ave., I met a pretty baby with her mom. :) Mom's really friendly, and baby loved to talked to random people, saying baby phrases, which turned out like: "Andyan na yung train, sasakay kami sa train, choochoo!!!" (The train's almost there, I'll be riding the train, choochoo!)

It was amazing, indeed, how simple conversations with a toddler make one's day and give you a permanent smile. :) They still don't know how harsh the world could be, and all they know is to trust evryone that comes their way. And as soon as they see what's in store around the place, they find all goodness in it: a running train would be exciting to see, despite the fact of the flaws on how late it arrives or how jampacked it could be.

If we could all see the goodness in each one of us, no matter how flawed they are in terms of other issues they have in their lives, probably, all of us won't feel insecure. Seeing the goodness in each and everyone is tantamount to love, a love that is indispensable, voluntary, and would eventually turn out to FREEDOM: a feeling that we imbibe out of charity, selflessness, compassion, and sacrifice, without feeling disappointed or robbed out of our freewill.

Well, it's not to late to start anew. And why not start changing our lives today, before it's too late? Well, I must say, that the way to perfect happiness is being in God's arms, and believing in Him, no matter how hard the world could be. :)

And I thank You Lord, for Saturdays!! :)

Spending last days of a gratifying sembreak. :)

Wednesday. In about four days, I'll be going back to where my heart belongs. :)

Medschool life is not just about diagnostics. They have this saying that it takes one's treasury and knowledge at risk once you enter Medschool. Well, I'll check them both, but what's lacking is: DEDICATION.

The school's giving breaks not for us to rest, but to assess how far can we still go and push forth. As for me, although I have subjects to remove as early as now, this doesn't stop me to do my best on the next semester and prove myself of the dedication I have not just for myself, or my family... But for the nation as well. ;)

I know I still have 8 enrollments to do for me to become a doctor, but I'm getting closer and closer one step at a time. It'll take time, but the fulfillment will soon pay off as we all pass the boards. It will be tough, but why bother? If you have to think twice, or a thousand times for you to gratify yourself with the profession you chose to make a living, DO SO. And all I can say is... Take the opportunities presented to you while they last.

I felt like quitting as the first semester startled me with problems and emotional disturbances, but what would stop you from reaching your dreams? I've given enough of myself to a lot of things, but I thought: Why not take the pieces back to the things you know that's not worth it and start placing it to something that will pay off in the end? I know being a doctor takes a lot of sacrifice, but I've known how it feels to sacrifice one's self for others' sake... So why not do it for more people, by saving their lives?

I'm still not losing hope of reaching my dreams and prove something to myself. Despite disturbances, I know it would be possible if I'll keep track of my time management skills and focus on studying.

So for now, no more disturbances. And try to meet my own ground: Swim, and Serve. :)

Whatta Day! :)

November 7, 2009: Was the start of a new beginning.

I canceled all appointments and upcoming events to finally meet a good friend of mine for the very first time: MIMI!! :)

But behind that, I know I have lots of reasons why I want to go: To replenish myself with a good long travel, to stop EMO moments at home, and to finally indulge with a new commitment with a new activity I'd be loving to do for the rest of my life.

The place should be near when I'm from Ortigas, but because I'm still indulging myself with a good sembreak to think things over and to finally BE OVER THE STRESSES, I came from home and started to count travel time: A travel good for at most 1 hour from Ortigas will be good for an hour or two from Alabang. Whew. :)

I love to travel. I enjoy traveling late, when the sun's out and only neon lights are the ones flashing on the streets of EDSA 'till SLEX. That's why it'd be more convenient for me to buy a car than invest on a condo unit. But I want both as soon as my profession will pay me up for a day's work. ;)

So... Back to the topic: It was the beginning of a commitment of being with girls whom I can study with for the rest of my medschool life and will continue to be there until we grow with each other, with a good relationship with God.

As soon as I went back home, I never thought that things would really happen. :) I experienced a minor accident, hurt my shin and knee just to get on the bus rapidly. Good thing I haven't broke any bone, but got some concussions.

But no matter how hurt I am, healing the wounds by that accident brought me would soon be over, just like what wounds will eventually be, thanks for my platelets and coagulation factors that made things possible. :)

Just thinking of how wounds can heal with our own system, sooner or later, some negative things will just be fed by my system as well. Would it be possible for macrophages to go in the depths of my brain cells just for me to forget the worst memories I had? Well no, and I have to deal with it myself. 'Coz healing won't be possible just by letting the wounds wide open. You have to cleanse it, especially the pus (dead WBC) that if just left there would eventually lead to infection... And may infect not just my skin but my whole leg!!!

So there must be some kind of help, a cleansing agent that would let me heal the in depths of my soul, and my brain, from all the wounds I had from the past years. Something that would purify the soul, and would eventually lead to a better you. And that would be my relationship with God.

Whatever hatred that experience brought me... I should know, that someone's being prepared for me, and eventually, Lord will let me meet that Man whom he perfected just how He perfected me with all those pains and frustrations.

So why lose hope? Everything happens for a reason. And if you haven't known it yet, just wait. For that time will come that you'll laugh out on the tears you've cried, and soon see that it all make sense.

Thanks Mimi. :)

Two weeks vacation. :)

This is the start of the life I've always wanted: plainly busy, monochromatic, and energy-requiring. That's the life of a doctor, and that's how things should be, I suppose.

Although it zaps everything to you, like what you just ate minutes ago, the exhilaration of the intense coping-up from simplest to finest case scenarios would bring you adrenaline rush. Simply the fact of knowing how your kidneys affect the way your heart pumps blood could be more exciting than knowing what's hot and what's not on the latest gadgets of the month.

This would simply be a vacation, a thorough assessment whether I'm still into it or not. But no matter how hard things were for me, and how hard LIFE is for me, I'M STICKING ONTO THE LIFE I WANTED TO LIVE IN. :)

I'm keeping track of my life on the past months and I've noticed that in one way or another, a lot of things affect me. But that must not be the case, for eventually, time will come that I know how to handle everything.

The next semester will come with a bang: the hardest and toughest subjects will come and will test our endurance to how far we could cope. And the only thing that will keep me up 'till the end of the battle is my optimism, and prove of self-worth. To all positive thinking good things come. :)

A lot of things should keep me going. Although somehow, I wasn't able to prove myself in one module or another, the only thing that will make me prove myself is on how I'll go on starting this semester. Self-discipline is the key, and I wish I could have a dose of it.

Now, there's no turning back. I have loads to discover, loads to learn and loads to keep up with. I should better be adjusting to 4-5 hours of sleep everyday.

And it's just now that I figured out that life could be so much fun living it by your own means, and loving yourself more. ;)

What's Up WORLD? ;)

After the whole busy months of preparing myself for Medschool, now, FIRST SEMESTER is finally over. :) I still have 4 years and 5 months of pursuing my MD-MBA degree, and reach for my dreams. :)

For six months, I've been through A LOT. And when I mean a LOT, name it: from tears to laughter. But what's significant is: I finally decided to let go and move on. TOTALLY.

I met a lot of people, have my new bunch of friends and barkada whom I run to through those hard Medschool moments. :) Although I still can't compile our pics, you know who you are. ;)

As for now, I'm preparing for the semender party tomorrow. :) Probably they won't require us to drink alcoholic beverages, but... I don't know. :) We'll just see. :)

Well, I haven't prepared enough for this post, but sooner or later, I'l have time to update this up... or finally transform this into something worth reading than pondering on. :)

As for now... I just want to start the next semester right... and end the last semester with all that imperfections and stupid decisions.

I have to start it all with MAGIS. :) And now, I won't deny, I'm finally turning ROYAL BLUE (with shades of MAROON, of course).

Pain Staking Love. :)

After a year, I've finally decided to keep track of my files and stock them up.

Seeing this heart warming letter from a good adviser, it made me feel contented to my feelings right now. I shouldn't be in a hurry, 'coz everything has it's right time. :D

I just wanna share this letter with you guys. Remember you're the chosen ones. :)

"When you were born, somewhere out there, someone was born, too, just for you. Do not agonize over the wait for time is perfecting him just as you are perfected. On the right moment, the right circumstance, the perfect place, destiny and fate will align for you to find each other. You may break your heart many times just as he will surely be for the moment has not yet arrived for two destined hearts to meet. You need not find him, for trying to causes sorrow. Just wait and enjoy each passing moment for he will find you, no matter what. Distance and time has no meaning. Not even culture, belief and chances can stop what has been written before time ever began. Love yourself. The ONE is out there. In time, he will be there only for you."

Don't you agree?

My wholehearted thanks to a very inspiring thought, from a teacher whom I appreciate and treasure most. :)

25 Things I love and or hate about myself. :D

Though I’m not really tagged to post these 25 things, it just came to me while waking myself up from my wordy exercise paper. Fortunately, just thinking of doing this puts me to a hyper mode, probably because it makes me go out of the technical writing scheme and have my free-writing doodle thingy come out.

1. I’m an aspiring cardio-thoracic surgeon, and planning to take up my Medical Degree at a well-renowned institution (so help me God) as soon as I pass everything up (yeah, it still bears the secrecy mode). But still, I’m on my Senior Year at University of the Philippines-Los Baños, taking up B.S. Biology Major in Zoology (Minor in Fine Arts and Tourism).
2. I’m the eldest granddaughter and the name bearer of our generation, at my dad’s side. :D Uhuh, yeah… That’s why sometimes the pressure keeps me up to do a lot of things, and to improve myself. I’m the role model for my cousins, and probably, the one introducing the medical field in the family, after the generation of engineers. :
3. When I went to college, every first day at school, they’ve always thought that I’m a new freshman. There was actually an instance (my SPCM 1 class), that the whole class thought that I’m a new freshman, and was just very nerdy because I tend to bring my anatomy syllabus in class… Not knowing I’m taking up Comparative Anatomy that semester and was actually on my Junior Year. My teacher just knew it when he asked me if I’m running for cumlaude, or have plans to transfer to Diliman, and blubbered out that “Sir, It would really be hard for me, I love my major, and I’m actually on my junior year…”. Then the majority of the class gasped, and a lot of my classmates started calling me “Ate”, on the second to the last meeting of the class. Wow. :P
4. I get so nostalgic when I’m inside the car having a ride while listening to 89.9’s Dreamsounds. That turns me to emo, or just sentimental, in a shallower sense. But as soon as I have my car/we’ll have our car (which I would really love if it’ll happen soon, please Dad…), I’d love to take a drive along EDSA with its neon lights all over, while listening to Dreamsounds. And if the car would really be mine… Driving at night would at least be my greatest hobby and favorite pastime.
5. I have an Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, as confirmed by my Psychology Teacher (Thanks Ma’am Joyce). And I love having it. Makes me feel clean and organized all out. I get panicky if I can’t remember if I locked the door of our dorm room, or haven’t closed the refrigerator door, or… yeah, even the subtlest of things. I have trichotillomania as well, a symptom of OCD, proof that I’m really having it. Plus, that OCD disorder makes it hard for me to come out of my nutshell. I’m quite panicky if things are not on my routine.
6. I write… er… yeah, legibly, with Font sizes that range from 8-10. My high school teachers actually always have a hard time checking my essays, but seeing it on a distance really make them read it, because it’s like written on an evenly ruled pad. Sometimes, by classmates blubber out “Diba handwritten dapat?”, then I’ll give them my paper, making them see it near to their faces, and letting them realize, “Handwritten yan. :D”
7. I love my family. Duper much. And what makes me happy is going to Iloilo at least once a year, seeing a lot of my relatives there. I love seeing my grandparents, and staying at my Aunt’s mansion (haha…), and playing with my cousins. I’m attached to family traditions and norms, and it’s hard for me to deviate from it, though I did, and I really regret it. XD
8. I love writing school names on a full basis, isn’t it pretty obvious? :D (Refer to number 1). I even write my professors’ names on full mode too, with the middle initials and titles.
9. How I wish I have this singing talent, which I actually hid because I don’t want to get noticed. Hahaha! XD I’m not that musically inclined, but probably I’ve developed this skill of recognizing notes, and appropriately develop them in instruments. I know how to play the guitar, just for the basics, and I love to sing… At the bathroom. XD Mom told me my grandfather used to be musically inclined, so probably, I have the gene for music. J I’d want to know how to play violin SOON.
10. I’m fond of drawing “Mr. Ultimate Crush” at the last leaves of my notebook. :D If you wanna know who he is, visit the last pages of my notebooks, and he’s pretty obvious. :)) His name is also doodled up. XD
11. I’m really dreaming of becoming a supermodel, not actually trying hard of being one. Just if the opportunity comes. That’s why I loooooved our Graduation Pictorials that much. XD
12. I hate my PSP. Because if I start playing Sims, it makes me play it all day long. T-T But what I love about my PSP, is that all my favorite songs are stored in there, and it’s more updated than my iPod. :D
13. I’m kinda scared of number 13. Haha. XD I dunno, but I really get devastated on weeks with Friday the 13^th. But my mom and my sister were born on the 13^th… Haha! :))
14. I have doses of migraine if I don’t have my glasses on, and I really hate it. T-T I can live without ‘em on before, but now, I guess, my astigmatism worsens up everytime. And I still don’t have plans of having contact lenses, after our parasitology lectures.
15. It’s really hard for me to gain weight, or get fat, or whatever you call it. I eat A LOT… Still, it has no use. T-T Probably I’m gifted enough, but I hate it when people ask me if I’m malnourished. XD I just think they’re insecure. :))
16. I love my job. Being an English tutor improves my enunciation, as well as my grammar (though I still suck, most of the time). XD
17. My dad said that I’m my Lolo’s favorite amongst all his grandchildren. Probably because I was the one whom he took care of and saw growing. :D When I was a kid, I actually made baby sounds every 6:00 am, while pointing at the gate, letting my lolo notice that I wanna go out and have a tour outside the house. My lolo loved to do it everytime. And I love my lolo as well. Duper much. :P
18. I’m a very good kid back when I was a toddler. My mom said that they’ll just leave me at the crib with a toy, and they’ll see me talking with the doll or playing with the toy, with “woo, woo” sounds. :P I don’t cry that often, and I don’t get bored that much. :P And that’s the reason why I can’t completely define the word “boredom”.
19. With regard to number 18, I loved stuffed animals. And still, I talk to them when I’m alone *creepy*. I loved moo stuffed toys, as in define I love cows. J And if you’ll leave me with stuffed animals, no matter how small they are, I squiggle them and hug them, just like my own. :P
20. I’m not socially inclined, but I’m trying to…. And damn it, I’m trying too HARD. :P
21. I’m dying to graduate, and I’m dying to pursue medicine… That’s why number 20 seems to be a BIG problem for me.
22. I’m an advanced swimmer, not to mention I enjoyed my Basic swimming lessons back when I was a kid. I stopped just before going to the competitive level, I just felt that I need to study hard, rather than swim, and swim. :P And that made my dorm mate Jerie call me “fish”.
23. I’m doooper sentimental. I don’t know how to throw things out, except when it needs to be thrown away. I just did the throw up and burning up moments once, and that never happened again. It’s just that, it’s hard for me to open up my locked drawer full of “sentimental” stuff. And they make me cry. T-T
24. Novels by Ayn Rand are great “moving on” novels. You’ll tend to think individualistically, not to mention that it’ll be possible for you to know a lot of things, inclined to Philosophy. And she made me forget how to cry. At the least.
25. I love seeing my friends happy. For me, that’s my greatest achievement in life, and that would probably be a good reason for me to be single for the rest of my life.